Cats Drink

Signs You're Watching Too Much Football

10. Before sex, you flip a coin to see who will receive

9. You've been banned from the A&P for spiking melons

8. To feel closer to some of your favorite players, you tear the cartilage in your knee

7. The kids bring home a good report card and you dump Gatorade on'em

6. Most humans: 75% water, you: 75% chip dip

5. During sex, you use a play clock

4. You pay $22 million to have Deion Sanders shovel off your driveway

3. For the last two months, you've been wearing nothing but a cup

2. You fell in love with your wife because she looks like John Madden

1. After sex, you go for the 2-point conversion